If only all adults could see things from the right perspective (double meaning intended). It really boils down to philosophy: Do we want to develop children to blindly follow rules or do we want to develop children who can think, problem solve, and work together? Around us, unfortunately, we see a lot of parenting styles that match more the style on the left. This cartoon was taken from a website that was shared at my in-service on differentiation today: http://www.raisingsmallsouls.com/
Have you read the Love and Logic books at all? I’d be curious to hear your take on them–they’re a little religious (though it doesn’t interfere with the process they describe) and I can see it not always working in every situation, but the philosophy seems really sound to me.